On behalf of the three of us, I apologize for the lack (in this case, zero) columns we have posted this month.  The Outlaw is still working two jobs, the Guru is involved in a full-time gig, and the combination of working nights and days can wear you down.  Again, I will go with commenting briefly on various things happening in the world of professional wrestling.

 

Apparently Tazz isn't the only one who can coin the phrase "Just another Victim".  According to the "insiders", it looks like Joey Mercury and Chris Masters are the first people to violate the new WWE drug policy.  Apparently Mercury has been sent to rehab and Masters has been pulled off the road.  Some had thought that Mercury would be part of the new ECW brand (since he is an alumnus), but only time will tell on that one.  The whole thing with MNM being dismantled as well as the "firing" of Melina and Nitro destroyed the best (and only) tag team WWE had; however, I do give props to London and Kendrick for winning the titles at Judgment Day.  Their styles work well together and they obviously can do some unorthodox moves. 

 

Speaking of ECW, One Night Stand is less than two weeks away.  The Guru is going to write a post about them coming back (if he ever gets his candy ass in gear!), so I will make it short and sweet.  ECW was bigger then than TNA is now, but will its timeslot on the Sci-Fi channel affect it?  You can watch old episodes of Battlestar Galactica and Sabu on the same channel!  I don't know how "WWE vs. ECW" goes over with the hardcore alumni, but I wouldn't exactly consider it the Invasion of five years ago.  Terry Funk looked really old.  I know the Funker is over 60 years old, but he looked to be moving very slowly.  A tag match would be good for him at this stage, and touring with ECW is just something he can't handle anymore. 

 

Speaking of ECW again, Jim Ross is back for Joey Styles, who is going to call the ECW brand (imagine that).  Apparently Ross has healed from his colon surgery, and is able to travel on a consistent basis.  Ross and Styles are the only two announcers that can do it night in and night out, although Michael Cole has improved tremendously.  He isn't in the class of Ross or Styles, but he and Tazz do just fine on Smackdown. Speaking of Smackdown...

 

The Guru wrote a post about Christian a few months ago, and if the artist formerly known as "Captain Charisma" is paying any attention to his former place of employment, he could see that he could be wearing the big gold belt currently owned by Rey Mysterio.  Smackdown's roster is a shambles right now, what with the absence of Batista, Randy Orton, Kurt Angle, JBL, and Chris Benoit.  All five of those wrestlers have been WWE and/or World Heavyweight Champions.  Chris Jericho, where are you?  Quit the comedy and music and come back to the stage known as the squared circle!  Come back and win the World Heavyweight Championship!  Speaking of former champions...

 

The Undertaker just got squashed by the Great Khali, who is slower than molasses.  I have to give the Undertaker credit this year, because he put on a Match of the Year candidate with Angle at No Way Out and did everything he could to make Khali look indestructible as well as put him over, which surprised the three of us.  In the past two pay-per-views, we have seen Ric Flair and the Undertaker get their asses handed to them by Umaga and the aforementioned Khali.  Umaga (the artist formerly known as Jamal of 3 Minute Warning) can move around the ring much better than Khali ever will, but has yet to be tested in the ring, save his DQ loss to HBK. 

 

Congratulations go out to Booker T for winning the King of the Ring and to Lashley for winning the United States Championship.  Lashley has drawn comparisons to Brock Lesnar, but I still think he is quite a ways from being the main man on Smackdown.  Ken Kennedy also looks to be returning soon from his serious shoulder injury, which will help the cause.  Congratulations also go out to the Big Red Machine (Kane) for having See No Evil make a profit.  In terms of movie standards, it hasn't made much, but since it's a horror movie and WWE Films making its debut, you can't expect it to outdraw The Da Vinci Code, Mission Impossible 3, or X-Men 3. 

 

As of this writing, RAW has not aired yet, but Vince is supposed to unveil a new GM tonight.  Rumors have it to be Dusty Rhodes, Coach, or JBL.  Personally, Coach gets on my nerves.  I am happy he is out of the broadcast booth, although the Guru disagrees.  Hell, Eric Bischoff was supposedly at last week's Las Vegas show, so maybe they're bringing him back.  My guess is that it will be a heel since Vince is playing that role right now and Teddy Long plays a face GM on Smackdown.  Maybe Vince will anoint himself GM. 

 

Who is more annoying: Right to Censor or the Spirit Squad?

 

Apparently HHH has turned face due to beating up the Spirit Squad last week.  Next month is supposed to be the return of D-X at Vengeance.  HBK and HHH can team up together to take down Vince.  I know HHH is not comfortable being a fan favorite, but he seemed to be the face at Wrestlemania in his match against John Cena.  You can debate if the crowd was pro-HHH or anti-Cena.  As long as Cena is getting mixed reactions and the crowd is acknowledging him in a positive or negative fashion, keep the belt on him; however, it would make sense for RVD to win his first Heavyweight Championship at One Night Stand, since he earned his reputation in ECW, plus he was unable to wrestle last year due to injury.  Give him a short term run just based on ability, as Rob is not the best microphone guy around.  He was nice to me when I met him in November, so as he used to say, "That's cool."

 

Class of 2006 Hall of Fame Inductees (if it was me):  Ricky Steamboat, Bob Backlund, Arn Anderson, Ted Dibiase, Bruno Sammartino (they don't need him there), and Mr. T for the Celebrity Wing. 

 

Good luck to Orlando Jordan in his future endeavors.  I doubt he would have felt comfortable with the alleged bisexual angle for him.  He would have been on TV, but in a lousy angle.  I doubt he wanted it both ways (pun intended)!

 

Again, I do apologize on behalf of the Outlaw and the Guru for not providing our readers with more posts these last few weeks.  We did get off to a good start this year, but sometimes things get in the way.   Like Matt Hardy, thefinishers.com will not die!